


In Your Arms

by welseykels



Series: Multi-Chapters [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fanfiction with Art!, Fluff, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-03-23 10:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3764125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welseykels/pseuds/welseykels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After three years apart, The Warden returns to Alistair as he returns from the battle of Adamant Fortress.  A companion piece to my alternate universe story <i>In Another's Arms</i> for Mira Amell and King!Alistair, a part of my <i>In These Arms</i> series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Return

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my writing masterpage on tumblr!](https://welseykels.tumblr.com/writing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/117720765205/in-your-arms-chapter-one)

Mira had waited three years for this moment.  She could see the towers of Skyhold on the horizon.

Leliana, Maker bless her, had kept her informed of Alistair's time there without his knowledge.  The raven she had received that morning stated that Alistair and the Inquisition's army were on their way back to Skyhold after the battle at Adamant Fortress.  Leliana did not want to elaborate on his ordeal there, writing that all Mira needed to know was that Alistair had made it through alive, slightly injured, but alive.  She said that he could tell her himself if she really wanted to know.  Leliana had also noted, at the bottom of her letter, was that she would need to make it Skyhold before him, because he was planning on travelling to Weisshaupt as Warden-Commander of Orlais shortly after he returned.

She chuckled thinking about the path that fate had put them on:  she the Warden-Commander of Ferelden as a Free Marcher by blood and he the new Warden-Commander of Orlais as the bastard prince of Ferelden.  What a strange path indeed.

The ride up the mountain to Skyhold seemed longer than the three years she had been away, her best guess was that she would reach the fortress just after nightfall.  She was so close to where he would be.  Leliana said he and the Inquisition's forces couldn't be more than a day or two away.  She would beat them there, surprise him.

When Leliana told her that Alistair was joining the Inquisition army at Adamant, it had felt like her heart had fallen into the stomach. She had asked the Inquisitor to keep him safe.  How could she drag him out to a war? But the rage in her veins cooled quickly when she realized that he wouldn't have been dragged along at all, her husband was too noble to be left behind when there was something he thought he could do to help.   It was what she loved most about him and what she hated the most.  She feared that that trait would be what got him killed while she was away.  Not that she was the reason he always lived, but if she was there with him, if there was something that she could do, then she would be there to do it, he wouldn't be alone.  If he had died while she had been away… she didn't want to think about how she would have felt then.

Bruno, her old mabari, trotted alongside the horse.  At times she’d wished he and the horse hadn't struggled when she tried to seat him in the saddle with her.  Their journey had been long and Bruno was getting older, the trek would have been harder for him than it was for the courser and her.  She thought often that she should have left him with Alistair.  Bruno could have kept him safe, but Alistair had insisted that if Mira wouldn't let him join her, Bruno would have to go in his stead.  But soon, soon they wouldn't have any more long journeys.  No more wandering across Thedas for them.  Bruno could grow fat off of good food and spend the rest of his days lounging in front of a warm fire.  The hound deserved at least that much for helping stop the Blight.

She wondered what having a normal future would be like.  She had never thought to imagine one, not as a Grey Warden, and certainly not as a Circle Mage as she had been before.  To have so many possibilities ahead… she couldn't fathom the thought.

As they reached the edge of the bridge to Skyhold, she saw two figures waiting at the other end, the only two women to know that the Hero of Ferelden had returned to the people of Thedas. The same two who had been like her sisters for a year.  She wondered if they had changed in the years since the Blight.  She wondered if they would think she had changed.

When she neared, she saw a small figure step out from behind the two women and her heart fell.  She had hoped that he wouldn't have joined Morrigan in her travels to Skyhold, had hoped that he’d been left with some noble family to foster him in Orlais.  But fate wasn’t always kind, especially when you were the one who had cheated it in the first place.

She had always wondered what he looked like, if he would have the same dark features and yellow eyes as his mother or if everything would look a little more golden like his father.  Instead, he seemed to be a melding of the two, which only made her hate him more.  She knew she had no right to hate the boy.  He had done nothing wrong.  She had no right to feel such anger for something she had played a part in, for something that had given her more time man she loved, for something that had saved her own life.  But the resentment still sat in her heart that in one night Morrigan had been able to give Alistair the thing she didn't think she ever could.  The one thing she wanted to give him most.

“Is that the Hero of Ferelden, mother?”

“Yes, child.  ‘Tis her.  She has returned to us at last.”

“But where did she go?”

She laughed, the same one Mira remembered, “Full of questions, are you?”

Despite the hurt she felt for his being there, she couldn't help but laugh to herself.  Hearing the same words spoken to him as Morrigan had been spoken to her all those year ago, made it a little easier on her heart to see him.  

* * *

 

Her arrival had been everything she had hoped it would be.  Quiet, no fuss.  The guards paid no mind to the arrival of a shadowy figure in the night, Leliana had seen to that.  Not that her arrival required secrecy, it was merely a courtesy, a way to avoid the stares and comments and gathering crowds around the return of the Hero of Ferelden.

Her friends, and what she supposed was actually her step-son, escorted her up to small room in one of the towers.  It rested beside the tavern’s connected tower.  Morrigan had even thought to add that the tower that was on the other side was occupied by ‘that Templar who was in love with you’.   Mira wondered if her presence would be a hindrance to Cullen’s health, especially when she was placed so close, but Leliana was confident in the Commander’s ability to see her again.  Mira wasn’t reassured.  The last thing she wanted to do was trigger Cullen’s memories of the last time she had seen him.  Even after all these years, she still cared for him, even if it was not in the way that she used to, she did not want to cause him any unneeded distress.

Once the group left, bidding her good night, Mira went about changing into a worn night shirt she had stolen from Alistair before she had left, his scent long faded from the fabric, and slithered under the sheets of the large bed at the centre of the room.  

Laying in a bed for the first time in years with Bruno snuggling in beside her, she couldn't help but feel an ache in her chest that a certain warm familiar body was not there beside her.  The night before she left, and the last time she had slept in a real bed, she had asked Alistair that they stay in a village tavern, rather than their tent where they would have made camp in the village outskirts.  She wanted to pretend that the rented bed was their own, that the room door didn't lead to a barroom, but to a small kitchen of their own.  These fantasies would keep her going when the road became too long or the need for Alistair too great.  She would think of a quiet life with her love to keep her body strong, to keep her heart from yearning a little too hard.  If she succeeded, that's what she would return to.  For the first time in her life she would have the chance to make her own future.  

There was no option for a family in the circle.  If a female mage carried a child, it would be taken from her moments after she gave birth.  Mira didn't know where the babies went, and honestly, she did not want to know.  There was no option for marriage, the Templars wouldn't allow for such bonds to be formed amongst their charges.  Mages had to find hiding spots around the tower to discreetly show their love.  There were even some rumors of mages sneaking to the dark corners of the library with their Templar paramours.  Those rumors had emboldened Mira after she had completed her Harrowing.  She had asked a young, bashful Cullen to join her in one of those corners.  She would be damned if she didn't know physical love at least once in her life with a man she fancied.  Jowan had asked her once, before he had met Lily, but she had declined.  She hadn't been interested in the nervous mage, she only had eyes for the blonde guard who smiled at her more than the others.  But being the respectable man he was, he had declined in turn.  Looking back, she was glad he had.  At the time she had damned him for his honour.  Everyone on the apprentice floor had known that he felt just the same as she did for him, the teasing incessant.  But he was a Templar and she his charge.  He was right in the end, it wouldn't have been appropriate, especially knowing now that she would leave the circle a week later.

It would be strange to see him again, Leliana had informed her that he was now the Commander of the Inquisition's forces.  Her letters had also told her that he had changed since the last time Mira had seen him, the anger towards mages slowly fading away.  He sounded like the young Templar again that she had fallen in love with before the Blight.  She was happy for him.  Leliana had even hinted that he had found someone to love of his own, someone who may or may not have been the Inquisitor, a mage like Mira.  She chuckled at the thought, he certainly did have a type.

There had been no option for a family in the grey wardens either.  At least not a family involving children.  The taint wreaked havoc on the body, making chances of conception a miracle at best, impossible at the worst.  Love was discouraged, or so Alistair had told her at the beginning.  A warden couldn't take the risk that there would be a reason that they couldn't fulfill their vows to end the Blight.   _In peace, vigilance.  In war, victory.  In death... sacrifice._  But all that changed during their journey together.

Certainly, she had thought he was handsome from the beginning, from the first moment she had laid eyes on him at the Ostagar camp.  Had found his jokes an entertaining way to pass the time as they walked across Ferelden.  Had found his charm strangely endearing when he sat with her by the fire as they ate their meals.  But it had been on those nights after she had seen almost everyone she had even known cut down in Uldred's bid for power that they had grown closer.  He had comforted her, as she had comforted him after Ostagar.  Both having lost the only families they had ever known.

It has started out when he joined her by the campfire when it was her turn to watch over the camp.  He would tell a few jokes to make her smile, slowly shuffling closer to her.  It took weeks for her to open up to him, to openly cry in front of someone else, his arms wrapping around her to hold her close.  She had wanted to for so long, but she had not wanted to burden anyone else with the pain she carried in her heart. Alistair had had enough pain of his own. She didn't want to trouble him further. But the one night as they sat by the fire, he'd pressed a slightly withered rose into her hand and asked her what it was.

At first she'd thought it was one of his jokes. But then she'd looked up into his eyes and she knew that at least for once he was being serious.

_"I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this... darkness."_

She had wanted to kiss him right then and there, but something had held her back.   They were the only two Grey Wardens left in Ferelden.  They had to kill an Archdemon.  How could she see the final battle through if she lost him?  Or if he lost her?

He didn’t know until weeks later when they had shared their first night together, giving in to what they felt for each other and damning the consequences, that she had used a frost spell on the rose and enclosed it in a glass locket that she had found at the Wonders of Thedas.  She’d never forget the look of adoration on his face when he had realized what had hung around her neck, nestled between her breasts for so long.  She'd kept it hidden from sight under her warden armour, the locket always cold against her skin, always reminding her that there was someone who cared for her when her fear of what was to come threatened to overwhelm her.

It was to this thought that she fell asleep, tracing the edge of the locket with her fingers.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alistair next chapter? Yes? Good. Maybe a little smut? Maybe.
> 
> Mira Amell is a Free Marcher in my this story because the Hawke-Amell family is from Kirkwall. My headcannnon is that Mira was born in Kirkwall, but since she and her siblings were all mages, they were split up and sent to different circles. This is how she ended up at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden.


	2. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/117721107325/in-your-arms-chapter-two)

[Art by the wonderful mianzuart.](http://mianzuart.tumblr.com/)

* * *

 

She awoke in the morning to the sound of knocking on the tower door.  Pushing Bruno from where he was sleeping with his head resting on her hip, she slipped out of bed and padded across the room.

A young scout stood there on the other side of the door, her eyes widening as she recognized the bed-headed woman who had been occupying the tower.

“The Hero of Ferelden, you’re really her, I thought they were just joking when they said you were here - I mean, Sister Leliana has a message for you.  The Inquisition’s army is on the horizon, they will be here within the hour.”

The scout turned on her heel, not waiting for Mira to respond, heading back to wherever she was needed next.

 _An hour._  They had arrived quicker than Leliana had predicted, perhaps they had traveled through the night rather than stopping.  Mira’s heart pounded in her chest at the thought.  An hour was all that separated her from Alistair.

Rushing around the room, she strapped herself into her warden armour, the only clothing she had.  She would need to remedy that, if everything went as she hoped over the next few days, she would need to buy clothing that wasn't burdened with metal armour.  Dresses and light tunics, that would be what she needed.  And shoes that weren't heavy boots.  She knew the perfect person to help her find new shoes, Leliana would be thrilled.

She fiddled with her hair in the looking glass that was stationed across the room from the bed, Bruno lazily raising his head to watch her as she smoothed the dark brown waves with her fingers.  

She would need to buy a comb again, she couldn't remember where she had lost the last one, her fingers have been its substitute for the last several months.  And cosmetics, it had been so long since she had worn any, but she felt delighted by the thought of purchasing and using such delicate things.  

When she felt she was presentable, she wandered with Bruno over to the main hall of the keep, asking a scout where she could find the kitchens.  Finding some food for Bruno and herself, she wandered back into the hall, trying to ignore the shocked looks on the faces of those who recognized her.  She settled at one of the tables, her back facing the wall so that she could look around her.  The hall was decorated in the Free Marcher style and Mira wasn't surprised.  She’d heard that she and the Inquisitor shared a homeland, even if the pair had spent the majority of their youths in a circle.  She had always wondered at the differences between how mages were treated in Ostwick versus Kirkwall.  The Trevelyans of Ostwick had kept their family’s noble rank and the Inquisitor had not been sent to the circle of a different country.  When Mira and her siblings had begun to show magic, they had been split up and sent to four different circles across Thedas, Mira ending up at Kinloch Hold in Ferelden.  Despite the Amells being one of the most respected families in Kirkwall, they began their downfall when it was discovered how strong magic was in their bloodline.  

Leliana had told her that her cousin Ryan Hawke had went to Adamant as well in one of her letters.  The Hero of Ferelden and the Champion of Kirkwall, both progeny of the Amell family and both mages who had become more than they ever thought they would be.  She had met her cousin several times after Alistair had crossed paths with her during the Qunari invasion of Kirkwall and she rather liked her cousin’s dry humour.  She hoped they’d be able to spend more time together in the future.  She even wondered if her cousin would bring her lover to Skyhold at some point, after all Mira and Anders were old friends despite everything he had done, having grown up together at Kinloch Hold and serving together in the Wardens.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard the horn sound, signalling that the Inquisition’s forces had returned to Skyhold.  Joining the crowd as they made their way out into the courtyard, Mira and Bruno tried to make it to the gates as fast as they could.  It seems that everyone had had the same idea, as she was caught in the congestion of the crowd.  Cursing under her breath, she settled for a spot at the bottom of the main staircase, keeping Bruno close, hoping that the crowd would disperse so she could find him.

What if Alistair had decided to head straight to Weisshaupt instead of returning to Skyhold?  Surely Leliana would have known if his plans had changed.  Surely her friend would have told her. Maker, what if he was already gone?  She would have to head to the stables and...

She heard him before she saw him.  She nearly broke down in tears when his laugh reached her ears.  It had been all she had wanted to hear for the last three years.  Bruno's ears perked up, and the dog jumped up excitedly from where he had been at her feet.  The mabari ran to the voice that he too had missed for years.  He darted through the throng of Inquisition agents and onlookers until Mira lost sight of him in the crowd.  All she could see was the backs of the people in front of her.  She cursed her short stature and tried to push her way after her hound.  She hadn't even made it back the first row of onlookers when she heard Alistair cry out Bruno's name in surprise.  

She had asked Leliana not to tell him that her journey was over, that she was returning to him.  She knew then that her friend had kept her promise.

"Where is she, Bruno?  Mira?  Mira?"

She heard mumbles in the crowd and the shuffling of bodies to make a path.  The tears welled up in her eyes so that she barely saw him push apart the last barrier between them, the group of people muttering how rude the young man was to shove them aside.

She had never seen a grin that large on his face before.

Suddenly she was in his arms and his hands were bunching the fabric over her back as he grasped onto her, crushing her body into his.  

"You're here.  You're really here."

The words barely made it out of her throat, the lump forming there made it hard to speak.  "I'm here."  

Her hands fought from freedom against his chest. She wanted to hold him, to touch the planes of his face that she had only been able to dream about for so long. When her hands finally wriggled free from his cement hold, they greedily grasped his face, cupping his cheeks, moving over his features, re-imprinting them in her memory. It had been so long, but she'd never been quite able to forget. She hadn't wanted to, but each day had made it harder and harder to imagine the touch of his skin against hers. Even when the thought of him, left on his own, had threatened to drive her mad with grief, she'd clung to the memory of the curves of his face.  She found the longer she touched him, the wetter her hands became, drenched in his own tears that spilled from his eyes.

"I've missed you so much. Dreamt of this moment. Mira, I -"

It was then that she pulled him into a kiss. It didn't matter that they still stood in the middle of the Skyhold courtyard. It didn't matter that the entire Inquisition was their witness. She just wanted him. She had missed him.  Words failed to describe how much she had missed him.  All she could do was cling to him.  His mouth was greedy against hers, making up for the time that had been lost between them.  She wanted to lose herself in him, to be joined so completely that they could never be separated again.  

Their mouths continued their eager exploration, until Bruno pushed himself between their legs, pushing them apart to receive attention of his own.  Alistair's lips left hers, laughing, and he knelt down to give their dog the affection he sought with a free hand. His other hand remained in a vice around her waist, pulling her down to her knees beside him.

It was then that Bruno decided to jump on Alistair's chest, pushing him back into the ground. Alistair's grip left Mira to topple after him, joining his laughter with her own. They lay in a heap in the courtyard, laughing and crying all at the same time. As the mabari and her husband played, Mira's eyes wandered to the crowd around them.

No longer were they looking to where the Inquisitor and her army had entered from the gates, preferring instead to watch the reunion of her family.  

"Is that the Hero of Ferelden?"

"I thought I'd heard she was dead."

"I'd heard she'd gone to the warden fortress way up North."

"My brother told me she'd left for Antiva with some elven assassin.”

_Oh, how wrong they all were._

She was alive, breathing the same air as her Alistair for the first time in three years,  and as much in love with him as she had always been.  

Maybe even more so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is shorter than the first, but I liked the spot where it ended, meaning that I've pushed the smut to Chapter 3. So the smut is next chapter, I promise, I'm writing it right now so it should be ready soon.
> 
> May 6 2015 update: A couple more paragraphs to go and editing and then Chapter 3 is done. Woo!


	3. The Re-Joining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here Lies the Smut.
> 
> Other ~~less important~~ non-smut notes:  
>  _In Your Arms_ happens in the same universe as my Inquisitor Aeryn Trevelyan (my fics about her, and Cullen, can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/series/245134)), so expect for some of my fics with Mira and Aeryn to start to blend together, making cameos in each other's stories. Maybe there will even be a badass lady mage heroes of Thedas series in the future???
> 
>  
> 
> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/118327856210/in-your-arms-chapter-three)

The faces of the crowd returned to that of the Inquisitor as she made her way towards the pair of Wardens that laid on the ground of the courtyard.  They were a sight to behold: the mighty Hero of Ferelden and the warden hero Alistair, reduced to giggles and tears as they clung to one another and their mabari.  

Aeryn hadn’t wanted to interrupt their reunion, but she didn’t want to miss her chance to meet the fabled Hero of Ferelden.  She’d heard so much about the woman from Leliana, Morrigan, and especially Alistair, which hadn’t surprised her.  It was almost surreal that this small brunette woman, laying in the dirt of the courtyard was the woman who had almost single handedly brought Ferelden together to end a blight.  She supposed she shouldn't be surprised, Aeryn had never imagined that a woman like herself would become the Inquisitor either.  Heroes were after all just ordinary people, like she had told her companions many times.

The pair looked up at her as she cleared her throat.  

“Inquisitor,” Alistair said as he stood, helping the Hero up as soon he found his feet.  “May I introduce my wife, Mira.”  

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All good things I hope,” Mira extended her hand out to the red-headed woman.

“I don’t think Alistair could ever say a bad thing about you.”  The pair laughed as the familiar pink tinge spread to the tips of Alistair’s ears.

“I must say, I was pleased to hear that the Inquisitor was a Marcher Mage.”

“You’re from the Marches?”

“Kirkwall, but I grew up in a Ferelden Circle.  The same one your Commander served, we were old frien-”  Mira lost her train of thought as she saw Bruno wander over the the small circle of tents at the other end of the courtyard towards a skinny boy in a rather large hat. “Bruno!”

Alistair laid a hand on her shoulder, “He’ll be alright with Cole.”  He turned back to Aeryn, seeing his opportunity.  “Now, if you’ll excuse us Inquisitor, I would like to retire someplace more private to reacquaint myself with my wife.”  Mira laughed when she caught him wiggling his eyebrows, a blush forming across Aeryn’s cheeks as she realized just how Alistair meant to reacquaint himself with his spouse.  

He sent one last look at their hound, already nestled against the strange boy, before he took Mira's hand and began to lead her towards the tavern, ignoring the returning stares of the crowd, hoping to find an empty room before the rest of the army returned.  He almost reached the door of the Herald’s Rest when Mira tugged his hand and led them instead up the adjacent stairway.  

“Where are we-”

“Leliana arranged rooms for us already.”  She opened the door to the tower where she’d spent the night before.  “No one will interrupt us here.”  A smirk playing across her lips as she led him inside and locked the door behind them.

"They had me stuck sleeping in the barracks. If I had known killing an archdemon would get me a tower to my-"

She silenced him with her lips on his, filling the empty air with a moan of her own as his hands found their way around her waist, pulling her tight against him. _Maker, she’d missed him._  Her fingers wound their way into his hair, pulling his head down, deepening the kiss.

He responded by walking her backwards towards where they’d just entered, crushing her between his body and the solid wood of the door.  He flinched when she ran her hands down his sides.

“Love, are you alright?”

“It’s just some bruising.  I’ll be fine... especially now that you’re back.”

"I could heal you."

"There's something about the Fade-"

"The Fade? Alistair, no one said anything about the bloody Fa-"

His lips captured hers again. "Shh, we can talk later."

His hands pawed at her clothing, loosening the straps that held her armour together.  Once her outer layer was gone and all that remained was a linen shirt and pants, Alistair found that he couldn't untie her clothing fast enough, his eyes black with desire. He began to pull and tug until the shirt pulled apart in a tear down the side.

“ _Alistair, I don’t have any other clothes_.”

“Then it’s a good thing that you won’t be needing them anytime soon.”  His eyes were hungry, starving, as he looked at her.  She couldn't help but giggle.  It had always fascinated her how fast he good could from nervous schoolboy to assertive when it was just the two of them.

He repeated his action with her pants until there was nothing left but her small clothes. He bent and removed them with his mouth, a moan escaping Mira's lips as he made sure to graze his teeth on her thigh on his way down.

“ _Alistair._ ”

She went to reach out for him, to pull his mouth back to hers, but he danced away from her touch.  Moving to stand back up, his hands fumbled over his own clasps and clothing, removing it with far more skill than he had shown hers.  She bit her lip as she watched him shed the fabric, revealing the battle scarred body.  She could feel the heat already pooling below her stomach.  When he’d divested himself of his clothing, he moved back towards her, lifting her in his arms without a word, her legs wrapping around him.  

Despite his earlier ferocity, his hands turned gentle as he laid her back onto the pillows of the bed, reminding her of their first night together a decade ago.  They both had been so young, so naive, touching each other with trembling hands and lips.  

He sat back, resting in a kneeling position at the foot of the bed, admiring her.  

“Maker’s breath, but you’re beautiful." She could see new tears forming at the corners of his eyes.  He hastily brought the back of his hand to his face to wipe them away, and she couldn't help but smile. "I’ll never forget this moment for as long as I live.”  

“Well, then it’s a good thing that we’ll both get to live and remember this for longer than planned.

“Truly?”

“I found it, Alistair.  I found the cure.”  

She’d barely registered that he’d moved from the end of the bed before he was over her, his lips crashing against hers.  His skin was hot against her own, his fingers finding their way down her sides to dig in at the flesh of her hips.  Her hands flew to his shoulders, scratching as his lips moved away and found the soft flesh of her breasts.

She sighed his name as his lips continued their trail down her body, biting softly on skin at her hips, before he settled himself between her thighs.  His fingers parted her already throbbing folds, finding that she was already dripping for him.

“Maker, Mira.”  His lips moved in and found her bundle of nerves.  Her hips jerked as his tongue flicked against her, her hands digging into his hair, tangling themselves in the strawberry blonde locks.  His name was coming faster and faster from her lips, intermingled with moans that she couldn't contain any longer.  The sounds only encouraged him, his tongue moving faster and faster against her.

She gasped as he dipped his tongue inside her, her hands scrambling for a better hold in his hair as she squirmed beneath his touch.

“ _Alistair_.”

She felt him breathe out a laugh as his fingers joined in as his tongue moved upwards again.

“ _Alistair, please. I can’t wait._ ”

If he’d heard her, he pretended he hadn't and kept up the tortuous rhythm he had developed.   _Maker, he had far more patience than she had.  She couldn't wait.  She had to have him now._

Her hands grasped for his face, his shoulders, anything, pulling him back up across her body before she gave him a soft shove, rolling them until she was looking down at his face.  

“If I had of known you were this eager I’d have-”  She bit at his earlobe and he struggled to find a coherent thought.

“I’m not the only one who’s eager, my love,” feeling his arousal between their bodies.

She straddled his lap as they moved into a sitting position. It was a dance they'd performed many times before, something familiar to soothe the ache that had rested in their hearts for so long.  His lips slid down her throat, as she rolled her hips to grind against his length.  He groaned, a long deep noise from the depths of his chest.  

“ _Please, Mira, ple_ -”

She grinned as her hand slid down to stroke along him, positioning him just so.  Their years apart melted away as she slowly lowered herself onto him.  Her head lolled forward onto his shoulder as she began to lift herself off of him, before coming back down before his body left hers.  His hips began to move along with hers, meeting her as she lowered herself again and again.  

_She’d missed him.  Oh, how she’d missed him.  Missed this, their bodies melting together.  And now, now they could have this until they grew old and grey.  They’d have more than the twenty or thirty years promised.  They’d have much, much longer if she had her way.  They'd never have to be apart again._

“I’m going to -”

Alistair flipped them again until Mira had her back pressed against the mattress, his body as close as it could be without crushing her, no longer caring about the pain in his ribs.  He grunted as he drove into her, feeling her walls tighten around him.  Her hands clawed at his back helplessly, grasping for purchase as she rode the waves of her orgasm.  His name fell from her lips again and again as she lost focus of the world around her, knowing only the pressure of his body on her, his lips trailing her name like a prayer down her neck, his cock buried deep inside her.

She hadn't meant to, but the tears welled up again and started running down her face. She hadn't wanted to ruin this moment, they had waited so long to be together again, but she couldn't contain her joy. He was here, around her and inside her, and for the first time in three years it was his real hands on her skin, not just her imagination.

Tomorrow they could figure out the rest of their lives, but right now there was only here, only him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COLE HELPS
> 
> These two deserve a happy ending goddammit! I mean there will more than likely be angst in the next few chapters, but come one Bioware, I can hope right? 
> 
> Coming up in chapter 4: awkward times with Cullen and angst.


	4. The Templar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgent chapter for a platonic reunion between my very first Dragon Age OTP, who are now each a half of my two real OTPs. The angst between these two will come later. I mean, what?
> 
>  
> 
> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/120293763700/in-your-arms-chapter-four)

"You're still here. And here I'd thought I'd been having the most wonderful dream."  His body rolled to hover over hers, placing a sweet kiss upon her lips.

“I’m here.  And I’m never leaving again.”

“Good.  Even if you tried to leave, I fear I would have to restrain you, my dear.”

A wicked glint flashed in Mira's eyes. “Oh really now? Restraints? That’s something that hasn't happened in a while."

She was rewarded with a blush spreading across his cheeks and the tips of his ears, just one more thing she loved about this man.  She leaned upwards to kiss his lips again, swiping her tongue across his lower lip, tempting him to open to her.

And open he did, murmuring an ‘I love you’ into her lips.

The urgency in their lovemaking had worn off as they slept.  They had spent the rest of the day before in bed, Alistair only leaving once, stealing away to find them something to eat.  Both felt wonderfully sore, their bodies growing accustomed to one another again after so long apart.  Their touches had been frantic, hard, wishing only to cleave themselves closer.  The touches now were slow, gentle, reverent.  Her hands drifting below the sheets to stroke down his back, Alistair shivering as her fingers made a line down his spine.  The kisses were deep, each angling their heads for better access.

Alistair slowly shifted to rest between her thighs, his eyes meeting hers as they were joined in far more intimate areas.  His head rolled forward to rest on her shoulder as they began to move.  She peppered his skin with slow kisses and soft words of love, until there were no sounds but quiet moans and pants.  A final shuddering gasp left her lips as Alistair’s body collapsed in contentment atop hers.

* * *

 

Mira woke to find Alistair still snoring softly beside her, an arm flung over her waist.  They’d fallen back into the arms of sleep, wrapped around each other.

Slipping out of bed and Alistair’s arms, she dressed quietly in his shirt and breeches, her own hopelessly shredded beyond salvage, rolling up the overflowing fabric at her feet and tucking it into her boots.  She fastened her belt around her waist, praying it would be enough to keep his clothing on her small frame.

Slipping out of the tower, she had all intentions of finding a merchant for clothes, until she turned and almost ran into the boy Alistair had called Cole.

"He knows you're here. He doesn't know how to say he's sorry, but he is.  He doesn't know how words can make up for the hurt."  The boy nodded his head towards Cullen's tower, the sadness in his voice matching that in his eyes, his hand scratching at Bruno’s head.   

Mira knew that she would have to see him sooner or later.  She had dreaded the thought.  Had run the words she wanted to say to him through her mind countless times, but didn't think she was ready for them to be spoken.

“You both love someone new.  But the feelings still linger in both your hearts.  You want closure, he wants forgiveness.”

“I - how you you know these things?”

"I hear. I help."

“You... what?”

The boy didn’t have time to explain before he whipped around at the sound of a door opening.

_Maker, she’d wanted more time to think before this happened._

He didn’t notice her at first, walking along the ramparts.  He looked... different, his hair, his beard, a scar, but there was no mistaking him.

Cullen hadn't noticed them standing there as he approached down the ramparts, until Bruno barked, drawing his attention to them and his eyes grew wide as if he’d seen a ghost.  Under the circumstances, perhaps it was true.  They hadn’t seen each other for a decade.   

“M-Mira?”

“Hello, Cullen.”

“They - Leliana said you were here, but -”

He was cut short by Bruno taking off, with Cole close at his heels.  The pair stared after boy and hound and they made their way through Cullen's tower and across the walkway to the main keep. She wondered what had happened, when she saw a cat dart through the rotunda door ahead of them.  Mira and Cullen stood in silence together for a moment, their gazes shifting back to one another.

“Is he, is he always like that?"

“Like what?"

“He always seems to... turn up right when you didn't realize you needed him.”

“I, uh.  I suppose.”  He looked her up and down, still reeling from the shock of seeing her again, and noticing the mass of fabric around her.  “...Your clothes?”

“Alistair’s.  Mine met an… unfortunate… end.”

They both stood there again in silence for a moment as he realized just what she meant, the quiet becoming uncomfortable as his cheeks reddened. All the things that Mira wanted had wanted to say to him for years were bouncing around her head and she couldn’t pick which words to start with.

By the time she finally pick some to string together, he had as well.

“I’m sorry, Mira”  “Cullen, if my being here-”

She chuckled softly as he motioned for her to go first.

“I know the last time we saw each other, it wasn’t - Cullen, if my being here is an issue, Alistair and I will leave.  I don’t want to cause you any -”

He closed the distance between them until he stood right in front of her.

“The things I said.  I regret them.  I was unkind.  You didn’t deserve that.  Forgive me.”

_He wants forgiveness._

His words made the corners of her mouth turn upwards.

“You weren’t yourself.”

“That doesn’t excuse anything.”

“I know it doesn’t.  But how can I forgive you for something like that.”

“I see.  I - I understand.”  He cast his eyes down, making to turn away.

“Cullen, I didn’t mean it like that.”  She reached out and grabbed his hand.  The leather of his glove rough against her skin.  “I meant that, well, I can only assume what had happened before I arrived.  I can’t fault you for what you said to me, after what you went through, I can’t.  For what you said to me there’s nothing to forgive you for.”

She could see the relief in his shoulders, as they fell with his exhale.

“There are other things, later things, that I’m troubled by.”  She wanted to talk to Leliana first before bringing anything else up.  “But for that moment, I can’t fault you for it.  If my presence ever troubles you, please tell me, and Alistair and I will be gone.  Promise me.”  Her grip on his hand tightened, willing him to look at her.

After a moment, his amber gaze shifted to hers.  “I promise.”

She released his hand and they stood, side by side, looking over the mountains.  The silence was easier now, but Mira had more to say.  They stayed like that for a long time, growing accustomed to one another’s presence again.

"Cullen, if things had gone how they were supposed to, we would have died at the conclave.  Do you ever think of that?"

"I hardly think we would've made it there."

She almost snorted. "I overheard Irving and Greagoir once. If they'd had their way, I would have been First Enchanter and you Knight-Commander.  I should think we would have been at the conclave at least as their seconds."

"I-"

"You seem to forget that I was Irving's only apprentice in a decade, over a decade." She gave his shoulder a playful poke, "and everyone knew you were Greagoir's favourite."

Cullen stayed silent, seeming to mull the information over.  

"Do you think we would have turned out like them?" Mira offered when no words came to him.

"Who? Irving and Greagoir?"

"We could have bickered like an old married couple just like them."

Cullen laughed, a sound that Mira hadn't known she'd missed.

“What about the Inquisitor?  I barely met her, but she seems… admirable.”

“She, she’s the reason the Inquisition has succeeded thus far.  She’s brave, she’s kind, she’s what we needed.”

She could see the light in his eyes as he spoke, she smiled at the sight.  "I'm glad she makes you happy, Cullen."

"I-" His hand moved to rub his neck, a nervous tick she'd almost forgotten he had and she could see pink tint his cheeks.  "She does… And are you? Happy, I mean?"

She played with the simple silver ring on her left hand, twisting it around her finger as a smile spread across her face. "Beyond words."

"I'm glad."  His hand moved from his neck to pinch the bridge of his nose. The stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again. "I suppose I've taken up enough of your time this morning, Warden-Commander. I'm sure there are many more important things you have to do than speak with me."

He didn't wait for a reply and turned to leave, but she knew there was one last thing she needed to say.

“I still have the knight from your chess set, you know.”

His laugh caught her by surprise as he stopped and turned back towards her.  She had expected annoyance, anger even, not laughter to her confession. “I always suspected it was you.”

“Did you now?”

“I thought it was hardly a coincidence that the knight from my set disappeared the same night the woman who used to call me ‘Ser Knight’ was recruited into the Grey Wardens.”  He looked at her for a moment, searching her face.  “Why did you take it?”

“It seems silly now.”

“Tell me?”  His voice was soft.

“My happiest memory at the circle was the night we’d played chess in the library.”  She could clearly see the night in her mind.  Mira had still been awake, studying in the library over a new magical theory she wanted to propose to Irving the next day.  Because she was his charge, Cullen had stayed to watch over her as she worked.  It has just been the two of them left awake in that part of the tower.

Eventually, her thoughts began to wander from her work, wondering what she could say to the handsome Templar to start a conversation.

He’d noticed her looking at him and smiled.  He’d asked how much work she’d left to do.  She felt bad, keeping him up this late, but then the order had its rules, no mage was left alone, and she was so close to finishing.  When she said she didn’t know exactly, he’d asked if she wanted to take a break, to talk.  Or even to play chess, he’d added sheepishly.  

 _Chess?_  She’d asked.  He’d rubbed his neck, admitting that he liked to play, that it reminded him of home.  He said he kept a set in the library, for when some of the Templars were on a break in the rotation and they would play.  

Grinning, she’d accepted his offer and followed him to the table.  They’d played, talking to each other about life in the tower for hours, until he cornered her pieces and won.  She stood, preparing to go back to her work when they both heard the bells to wake everyone in the tower for the day.

 _Thank you Ser Knight,_ she’d whispered before she’d hurriedly kissed him on the lips, hoping no one entered the library and saw.  She hadn’t waited for his response before she’d gathered her scrolls and headed to her bunk.  She’d presented her work to Irving, and her Harrowing was the next night.  A week later she would be recruited to the Grey Wardens.  Before she'd left the tower, she'd stolen into the library and removed a piece from the chess set, tucking it in her bag.

“You were my first kiss, Cullen.”

“As you were mine.”

She smiled.  “You, you let me feel like a person that night.  Asking me to play chess like I was a friend.  I appreciated that.  Made me feel less alone without Anders around to cheer me up.  Jowan was never really good at getting a laugh from me the way he did.”

“I always wondered, how were you, Irving’s star pupil, such good friends with the trouble-making escape artist?”

Tears threatened to enter her eyes at the thought.  “Anders, he reminds me of my brother, Gavin.”

“You have siblings, then?”  

"Yes, they - they’ve passed... I would rather not speak of them more."  She wiped away a tear that fell.  "Hawke and Carver are the only real family I have left alive."

Cullen's eyes grew wide. "Maker, has no one told you?"

She felt her stomach drop. "What do you mean?"

"Hawke, she - she's -"  He fumbled for words. He hadn't thought he'd be the one to tell her.

"Cullen, where is Hawke?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hawke. Poor Mira.
> 
> Also: I've commissioned some artwork for Chapter Two, so that will be added eventually. YAY!
> 
> June 27th/15 Update: I should have Chapter Five up sometime during this week. Also, the artwork has been added to Chapter Two :D


	5. The Gallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: I changed a sentence at the end of the previous chapter, because I idiotically forgot I'd made Carver a Grey Warden, so of course he's met Mira and Alistair. And he knows them quite well. The sentence is now "Hawke and Carver are the only real family I have left alive." instead of Mira saying she's never met Carver.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNING**  
>  This is the first of three major angst chapters that I have plotted out, the second won't come until about the middle of the story arc. This chapter contains Tranquil characters and a minor character death... and this was supposed to be my happy version of their lives.
> 
> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/123139737185/in-your-arms-chapter-five)

_9:35 Dragon - Six years before the Battle of Adamant Fortress and Mira’s arrival at Skyhold_

Mira felt sick as they approached the cliffs of Kirkwall, the golden statues just as she remembered. The tossing of the ship hadn’t bothered her, no, it was seeing her homeland again.  She hadn’t been in the Free Marches since she was six years old.

Kirkwall was a dangerous place for a mage, especially now, after the war with the Qunari the previous year. Tensions were high between the Templars and the mages. That was the very reason why she hadn’t been with Alistair when a mission had brought him and Carver through just as the fighting started.

She still wondered how good an idea it was to join them this time. Alistair had told her no, but she had insisted, her ill-advised stubbornness winning out. He didn’t want to risk that Kirkwall would ignore that she was a free Mage, a hero,  a Commander.  But she had wanted to see her family and her home again. Find some new memory that would replace the ones she had of her home.

She knew she wouldn’t find one though. Considering what Alistair had found the last time he was in Kirkwall. It had been a personal mission for her that he’d been on. The results of which she knew she had to see for herself.

She’d broken down when he’d told her what he’d found.  She’d stayed in their bed at the Vigil for weeks after. Only eating because Alistair brought food to her lips, worry etched in every line on his face. Only sleeping when the exhaustion she’d caused herself grew to be too much. She’d suspected for years, long before she’d even passed her Harrowing, but to have her suspicions confirmed, that was the worst hell she’d ever been through.

She tried to push down the nausea she felt as Alistair’s strong arms wrapped around her as they stood on the deck of the ship.

“We don’t have to do this.  We can go back to Ferelden.  I don’t feel you’re safe here, love.”

“I have to. I have to see him for myself.  I need to… I need to say goodbye.”

He sighed, his arms gripping her tighter than before.

“My sister will be able to protect us once we get to the city.  We’ll go to our family’s estate.  Anders will be able to bring us to the Gallows after nightfall.”  Carver came up behind the pair, coming to stand beside them at the ship’s railing.  

“Thank you, Carver.”

“Anything for family.  I’ve sent a raven ahead, my sister and Anders will be waiting for us at the docks.”

* * *

Mira hadn’t quite known what to expect the first time she met her cousin, Ryan Hawke.  She’d heard plenty of tales from Carver, some she wasn’t quite sure she believed.  But Carver had always been nothing but honest with her, so she supposed her cousin Hawke was truly as remarkable as the rumors said she was.

The first person she saw in the crowd that awaited the ship’s travelers had a familiar face surrounded by blonde hair.  Mira tugged on Alistair’s hand to lead him towards that familiar face, letting go when she jumped into her friend’s arms.

“Anders!”

“Mira!”

His arms held her close as she buried her face in her childhood friend’s shoulder, the feather’s there tickling her nose.

“I missed you.”

“And I you.”

She pulled back to look at his face.  “And Justice, too?  Hello, my friend.”  His eyes burned blue for a brief moment as he inclined his head in acknowledgment.  The last time she’d seen either one, they had been two separate beings. It was strange now to see them as one. 

They heard a throat clear behind them, and the group turned to look at the woman with a bright red stripe across the bridge of her nose.  “I believe some introductions are in order, cousin Mira.  I’m Ryan, but everyone calls me Hawke.”

The woman extended her hand to Mira, and she took it gladly.  “Hello Hawke.”

If it hadn’t been for the tattoo around her right eye and her raven hair, Mira would have sworn that she was looking at a mirror image of herself.  The Amell family looks must have been strong for them to look so much alike.  

* * *

She spoke quietly with Anders and Hawke as they walked to Hightown from the docks.  It was nice to meet her cousin, get to know this Champion of Kirkwall.  It was a way to take her mind off of why she was in Kirkwall.

Until they came in view of the Hawke Estate.  

Mira froze in the middle of the walkway, her hand clamping down on Alistair’s.  She hadn’t expected that the Hawke Estate was the old Amell Estate that had belonged to her great uncle and aunt.  It’s front doorway had been the last she’d seen of Kirkwall all those years ago, the scorch mark still there on the stone of the front wall, the cracks in the stone walkway still there.

_“We were just playing!  Honest!”_

_She’d kicked the Templar in the shin, screaming in pain when her foot connected with the hard metal protecting it._

_“Let him go!  Let my brother go!”_

_Gavin had been ten, she had been six, and yet she had been the one struggling with the Templars that had their hands wrapped around her brother’s arms.  She could see the tears slipping from his eyes, she could hear her mother’s screams behind them, begging the Templars to let her son go._

_They’d only been playing._

_It wasn’t Gavin’s fault that a burst of fire had sprung from his fingers and lit a part of the garden on fire, following the ivy vines up the wall._

_He’d frozen on the spot, fear etched on every part of his face._

_Mira didn’t understand when she’d heard the group of Templars walking by shouting about mages._

_She didn’t understand when her mother continued to beg the Templars to let him go._

_She started to cry as she joined in, begging for them to let him go, kicking the one closest to her.  Why wasn’t Gavin struggling?  Why were they taking her brother away?_

_She felt her mother’s hands wrap around her in an attempt to pull her back when ice shot from Mira’s hands, freezing some of the templars’ feet to the ground, the stone of the walkway cracking from the chill.  She screamed then.  How?  How had that happened?  How had she made ice?_ _She was scared, more scared than she’d ever been before._

_“There’s two mages!  Take her as well.”_

_She could hear her mother’s screams as the Templars whose feet were free scooped her up._

_It was the last time she’d seen anyone from her family.  She’d been taken straight to the docks to a ship.  It was the first time she’d met Knight-Commander Greagoir, he was in Kirkwall to find new mage talent for Ferelden.  He was the one who’d held her as she cried as the statues of the Gallows disappeared from her sight, along with everything she’d ever known._

“Mira!  Mira!  What’s wrong?”  Alistair’s voice called to her through her thoughts.  Fat tears slid down her cheeks and she could hear her own whimpers.  She didn’t remember how she got to be on her knees, but Alistair was there, holding her tight against his chest.

“Maker, I should have remembered, but she’d told me so long ago, I - I’d forgotten.”  Anders’ voice was muffled by Alistair’s arms as they’d moved to hold her closer.  “We shouldn’t have brought her here.”

“What do you mean?”  Hawke and Alistair asked together.  

“You see the marks on the wall and the ground.  Those were made by Mira and her brother.  This is where they were taken away by Templars to the circle.  This is where their magic first manifested.”

“Maker.”  Carver’s voice this time.

* * *

They’d taken her to The Hanged Man, Alistair carrying her in his arms as she cried.  She’d felt like a child again, felt all the fear she’d felt then, something she’d thought she’d forgotten for so long.  

When she calmed down and when night came, they’d made their way to Darktown, to the secret passage into The Gallows.  She didn’t know if she could take anymore hurt that day, but if she didn’t go now her courage would falter.  

It was the five of them travelling through the tunnels, Carver and Hawke bringing up the rear as Anders led the way.  Alistair refused to let go of her hand as the walked through the semi-darkness, frightened for her after that afternoon.  He’d tried to talk her out of going again, telling her it was too much too fast.  Again, her stubbornness had worn out.  He hadn’t been mad that she’d never told him exactly how she’d discovered she was a mage, it was something she had locked away a long time ago.  He’d just been afraid that what came next would break her.  When she’d withdrawn after he’d told her the news, he’d been terrified.  She didn’t know if seeing it for herself would be even worse.

It was worse.

She started crying again when they’d entered the Tranquil quarters of the Gallows, her voice hitching.

“I’m afraid I won’t know which one is him.  I don’t know what he looks like now.”

“I do.”  Anders took her other hand as he led them down the hallways, pushing open one of the last doors.

There he sat on the bed, staring ahead of him.

“Hello.  Knight-Commander Meredith does not permit visitors to the Gallows.  You will have to leave.”  His voice was flat as he turned towards them.

She let go of Anders and Alistair’s hands as she moved into the room to kneel at his feet.

“Gavin, oh Gavin, I’m so sorry.”

“I have no seen you before.  There are many mages here in the Gallows.  Are you a new apprentice?”

One of her hands moved to cup his beard covered cheek,  the other brushing away the front of his hair to reveal the sunburst brand on his forehead.  Her vision blurred as more tears feel, her throat burning with her weak attempt to hold them back.

Out of the corner of her hazed vision, she saw a blue glow, as Anders, or rather Justice, rested his hand on her shoulder.   “I can give him a moment back.  It worked with a mage named Karl.  It will only last a minute, no more.”

The thought that this had happened with her other childhood friend only made her heart ache more.  “Alright.”

The room lit in bright blue for barely a moment before the hand lifted from her shoulder.

“Who - who are all of you?”  Gavin’s eyes opened wide in shock as he registered all of them standing in his room.

“It’s me.  It’s Mira.  Gavin, it’s me.”  All she could do was repeat the words over and over as he gasped and wrapped his arms around her.

“Mira!”  His body shook as he began to cry along with her, his hands digging into the fabric at her back.  “Please, sister, please get me out of here.  I can’t dream anymore.  I can’t feel anymore.  I just wanted to get away.  But they caught me.  I thought I’d lost them.”  She fumbled for something at her hip, before bringing her arm back around his back.  “Mira, please… please…”

His hands loosened their grip as she whispered promises to take him away from there.  She could feel his body slump against her as her hand drove the knife in.  She couldn’t let him live like this.  She couldn’t.  

“I love you, brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna go lay down for awhile and try to forget I wrote this.  
> Gavin, my poor oc child. I'm so sorry.
> 
> I promise the next chapter won't be as bad. (And there will be no more Tranquil characters. So no need to worry there.)


	6. The Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter can be found on tumblr here.](http://miraamell.tumblr.com/post/128061174490/in-your-arms-chapter-six)
> 
> Sorry this chapter is fairly short and that it's been so long since I last updated! I will try to update all three of my multi-chapters more regularly from now on!

Cullen rushed after her as Mira made her way towards the War Room. Towards where he knew the Inquisitor was in the middle of a meeting with her inner circle and advisors, a meeting that Cullen was now late for.

“Slow down!  Let me explain!  Mira!”

He hadn’t realized that no one had told her.  Maker, how had they let that slip by?  How had everyone neglected to tell the Hero of Ferelden that her cousin - the bloody Champion of Kirkwall - had sacrificed her life?

How had her own husband not told her?

* * *

Mira had expected the shocked looks as the pushed open the heavy door to the war room, only a handful of people knew she was there.  But at that moment, she didn’t give a damn about their shock.

Someone had to answer for Hawke’s death.  

“Warden-Commander, can we help you with some-”  The Inquisitor’s voice stuck in her throat when she saw Cullen bursting in after the small mage, red-faced and hair disheveled from running in the heavy armour.

Leliana’s eyes widened, realizing her own mistake.  Mira knew the sister saw the frost already crawling up her arms.  Mira had always had trouble keeping the cold at bay when her emotions ran too strongly, no matter how talented a mage she was - something Leliana knew.  

The nightingale stepped in front of the Inquisitor, “Mira, you’re going to need to calm down.”

“Calm down?  Not until someone explains to me what has happened to Hawke!”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Morrigan step towards her.

“You all knew?  And not one person told me?”

Morrigan continued until she stood in front of her, taking her hands and Mira could feel the heating spell counteracting the chill running through her veins.

“Hawke gave her life for the Inquisitor - instead of Alistair.”

“W-what?”

It was then that the Inquisitor stepped forward, motioning for the red-headed sister to stand down.  “We were sent into the Fade - it was the only way I could save us when Adamant collapsed.  When we reached a rift to leave, we were attacked.  One of us had to stay behind as a distraction or all of us would have been lost.  Hawke offered to stay... as did Warden Alistair.”

The shock coursed through her whole body, not hearing the rest of Aeryn’s words.

_Alistair would have died?  He would have left her to face this world alone?_

Mira looked around the room, seeing the faces of everyone else for the first time, the looks of pity they held overwhelming her.  Suddenly the world started to spin.  She’d have lost her cousin or her husband?  Either way she would have felt this stabbing in her heart.

She dropped Morrigan’s hands and spun on the spot, rushing out of the room.  Slamming the door behind her, she stopped, leaning against the frame, new tears falling.  It took longer than she’d cared to admit to compose herself, thinking that the tears weren’t going to stop.  Looking up with the blur was finally gone from her vision, her eyes fell on the man standing opposite her, not knowing how long he’d been there.

"Carver?  You’re here?  Aveline brought you?"

He nodded.

They stood there, on opposite ends of the hallway between the war room and Ambassador Montilyet’s office in silence.  The younger Hawke’s hands clenching and unclenching, his shoulders hunched inwards.

“They told you?”

“Yes.”

She wiped a stray tear from her face, hurrying herself down the hall and into her cousin’s arms.  As they embraced, the strength from their bodies seemed to disappear all at once, the pair slowly sliding down to the floor.   

He buried his face in her shoulder, trying to muffle the sobs that wracked his body.  “I’m all that’s left.”

Her fingers bunched into the fabric of his shirt, trying to hold back a new wave of grief.  “We have each other.”

“It’s not the same!  It’s not the fucking same!”  His own hands rumpling the fabric at her back.

“I know, Carver.  I’m the last, too.  I know.”

Distantly, they heard the heavy wooden door open, a procession of the Inquisition’s best leaving the war room, not disturbing the pair that clung to each other as if they were the only thing keeping each other afloat.

She didn’t know how long they’d been like that when Alistair’s voice came down the hall from behind them. “Mira?  Carver?”  

She lifted her head from where it rested on her cousin’s shoulder, a look in her eyes that Alistair had only seen once before, that night they’d went to The Gallows for her brother.  "Why didn't you tell me about Hawke?"  

He stood there, mouth opening and closing several times, no sound able to make it past the lump in his throat.  

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d wanted to stay instead?”

 


End file.
